How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
Randomize