do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
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