we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
You know why nobody comes up with Sober October? Other than it's Oktoberfest? Because Sober October doesn't benefit anyone, just like your judgment isn't benefiting me. I'll talk to you in November. Unless you make up another alcoholless month.
The chlamydia really affected his face.
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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