Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
Randomize
