he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
Randomize
