Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
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