RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
Randomize
