I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
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