Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
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