u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
Randomize
