if i can run in heels then i can drive
what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
