dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
So vagazzling was a success
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
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