1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
Randomize
