Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
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