it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
Randomize
