i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
Randomize
