You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Randomize
