I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
Randomize
