he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize
