before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
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