i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
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