Dual....:-)
but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
The struggles of a small town man whore
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
Randomize
