We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
Are my feet made of real feet?
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
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