Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
false alarm, still single
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
His nipple licking is glorious
Randomize
