I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
should my penis look like a turkey
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
Randomize
