He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
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