Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
Randomize
