just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
he's single and there are thong briefs.
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
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