too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
There's a naked man in my car right now.
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
Randomize
