it wasn't lemon gatorade
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize
