found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
