Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
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