No awkward lesbian experiences without me
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
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