It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
This can only be settled by a dance off.
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
Randomize
