I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
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