My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
Randomize
