things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
Randomize
