You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
I'm always down for nudity.
Randomize
