dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
Randomize
