I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
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