he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
Randomize
