There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
Randomize
