I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
Found your dick twin last night
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
Randomize
