He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
Randomize
