What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
Randomize