I murdered the dance floor call the cops
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
Randomize
