This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
Randomize
