hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
Whatcha textin bout Willis?
anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
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