So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
Randomize
