I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
Randomize
