You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
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