I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
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