That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Randomize
