Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
how was last night?
i woke up with my hand stuck in a jam jar with my keys in the bottom and a dog licking peanut butter off my boobs. you tell me.
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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