Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
I woke up with a chicken in my yard
Do you not remember hopping the fence into a chicken coop and screaming "choot em'"like you were on swamp people?
No recollection, can you come help me shut this thing up
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
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