Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
your like the ambassador to my penis.
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
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