I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
You pole danced in your parka.
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
Randomize
