apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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