im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
Randomize
