Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
mike has just informed me of all the things he would put in his pussy if he was a woman. this includes door stops, power drills & g.i. joes.
"and then my dad would be all like 'hey mike, where's the remote?'"
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
Randomize
