My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
Randomize
