Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
Randomize
