They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
3pm strippers are depressing
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
Randomize
