youre lurking in front of me
# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
Randomize
